marie j.engelsvold

View Original

Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream.

Not expecting anything. Not wanting any specific result. Not waiting to arrive to a certain destination. You know very often we say, when I have done this and this, then I will just have fun. We think that we have to deserve it. First work and then play. We have learned to struggle and to fight our ways through life. To be strong. To tame ourselves. We make “to do” lists. We have so may goals. But what when we get there? Is it worth it? I think to be present in the creative process, is a kind of learning how to live moment to moment. To learn to be in peace and harmony with yourself, eventhough your outer circumstances is chaotic. Allowing yourself to be you. That all about you is okay. That is your reward. That is your freedom.  

Sculpture experiments, from my own process.

Yesterday I had a day in my studio, where I didn’t come to any solutions. I played around with a sculpture the whole day, but it didn’t fall into place. It didn’t click. I’am learning all the time, and normally I would be a little unsatisfied with myself. But yesterday I was so happy on my way home. Because I had really had fun,  and I had this knowing that everything will fall into place. The energy from the day was still in my body the whole evening. 

The feeling of flow comes when what you are doing, is in harmony with where you are.

So I’am learning to enjoy the yourney, to relax in knowing that I can create more courageous, if I don’t fix my mind on a specific goal.

But I think the reason why we resist the moment, resist o be present, is that it triggers all our emotions. Because to be in the process is not just bliss all the time, you will meet all parts of yourself.

How do you forget the result ??

When we think of a result, it is often a mental picture of what we want. So instead of the mental picture, go for the flow feeling instead. The feeling of flow comes when what you are doing, is in harmony with where you are. For example, if you are sad, use that feeling and express it, instead of suppressing it, because you think you have to be happy. Every time you suppress an emotion, it builds up, and it takes a lot of energy. If you keep suppressing these more negative emotions you will eventually run out of space. Your body will be full. All the emotions will come to the surface, and you might get a serious breakdown. So release the feelings instead, allow them to be felt, express them in your art. Soon you will feel relieved because you are getting in touch with new aspects of yourself. Relieved because you have more energy, and more space inside of you..

Marie J.Engelsvold. “Don’t resist the moment.” Acrylics, pencil and paper cuts on paper. 30 x 30 cm. 2019

How do we go from the expectation to the dream ??

So one of the biggest challenges is to let go of the expectations of the result. If we always have a goal in mind, it is as if we are starting to hurry, and we reject everything that does not look like something that can lead to our goals.

Often the inner critic begins to beat us up. We begin to sabotage ourselves. It is not good enough. We try again and again, to get to the desired result but we fail. Sometimes we actually succeeds, and the result is satisfying. But often we have to cross both arms and teeth to get there. We can also have learned a lot of techniques, so everything we do looks okay, it is actually really nice and tidy and people like what we do. But you may not be completely happy, and you are dreaming of something else.

The dream you feel, is not the expectation. The expectation is that mental picture you have of yourself, that you have to feel and be a certain way. The mental picture of your outcome. The expectations will always get disappointed, and you begin to judge yourself if it is not met. So drop that mental picture, The dream cannot die. The dream is the one you think is unrealistic, the one that can't be done. The one who is only possible if you had lots of time and money and courage. But it is the dream that makes your heart beat, the dream that gives your life direction, and the dream which nourishes the flame in your passion. But how do we go from the expectation to the dream ??  It's a bit like the same mechanism as when we switch from the left side to the right side of the brain. And the harmony when we get all our parts to play together. I'm talking about the same thing, just in different ways. Because we constantly run into the same problems, but because the situation changes, we do not see it.

In the creative processes, you meet yourself head on.

The first thing you have to do is forget the result, go into the process, be present in the process and don't think about the end result. The dream is now, it’s not a destination. If you build a lot of expectations around the dream, the dream cannot come into your present reality. The dream is not a picture, it’s alive. That  is what is the adventure, to enter into the unknown.

These are the same mechanisms as in your life, if you are afraid of the unknown (and we are all to a lesser extent), then you cannot be present in your life. So that's why I say that in the creative processes, you meet yourself head on. And if you dare to go into the eye of the storm, you can free yourself from your limitations and learn to accept and love yourself in your wholeness. Without cutting pieces of yourself out.  This is also why we have such a hard time being present in the process, and accepting our own self-expression because we meet ourselves all the time. And we all have parts we don't like and don't accept.  So the expectation of the result is also the expectation of yourself.

When you expect things from yourself and other people, you also judge if your expectations is not met. If you judge yourself, you tell yourself that you are not good enough. You do not accept yourself as you are, but only as the image of how you want yourself to be.

Release the expectations on how to get there, and surrender to the journey.

So when I say, go into the process and forget about the result, it sounds very easy. But it's not easy, it's really challenging for most of us. And so, it is something you learn gradually.

I, myself have been a visual artist for 20 years, and of course I also love to be in the process when I am in flow. And I think that is why I became an artist. When I was very young, I discovered that I could disappear from the world and go into my own dream. I could come in a state of true presence and joy. That is the flow. Forgetting time and place, being fully present in what you do. That is the price. And then you have arrived. When you live the dream, the dream is all there. Allow yourself to dream big, and allow yourself to trust it. But the dream becomes reality only when you follow your inner voice and allow yourself to rely on the process.

 You still can't figure out how to get there ?? Take the first step, and that is your creative passion. You must turn on the spark, before you can burn. Release the expectations on how to get there, and surrender to the journey. And if your dream is more time to be creative and express yourself, take that time. Start with what you can today, and then expand slowly.

I’am sharing this information to you freely, from my own experiences. Hope you can use it in your own process. Any donation, is deeply appreciated. :-))

See this donate button in the original post
See this content in the original post