marie j.engelsvold

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How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making.

1) How to connect with your feelings, and feel them instead of being mental about it.

2) How it will help you to stay present in the creative process.

Take a look at my video, where you can follow my own process while you lisen’t to my experiences. Or you can just read the blog post instead.



There is another layer to the topic I talked about in my last video. “What to do if you get stocked in the creative process.”

When we begin to criticize and judge ourselves, it’s because we are too much in our heads. We don’t now how to be present with ourselves. Because it can be hurtful to embrace all our feelings.

To be free in the creative process and in life, it’s so important to be present. And to be present you must connect with your heart and body. But why is it so difficult?? and so much easier to go to the head and be mental about it. I woke up last night, and was feeling really pain. And these words came to me “ You go to your head when your heart hurts”. We want to be happy and positive, and then it’s easier to suppress all the negative emotions. But the feelings don’t go away when you try to ignore them, they stay and they build up.

So to be present with yourself, it’s about being present with everything inside of you. Also the stuff thats hurts.

What to do??

My process. here I start with painting the paper black. I always start with a white paper, but felt like doing the opposite would balance the energies.

You have to go down in the deepht of yourselves, to say hallo to that part of you which is in the dark bottom of that hole. To accept it, and get it back up. Don’t begin to analyze it, or judge if the feeling is going to be there or not, if it’s good or bad. Just feel whatever is inside of you. In the beginning it can be a little frightening, to go down there, if you are not used to confront it. And you sometimes need to stay for a while, to acknowledge these dark feelings. To be there in the darkness for your lost friend. To give comfort, and acceptance to that feeling.

When I was a child, I sometimes felt it was not okay to be sad, to be angry to be grieving. My mother said, you just put yourself togheter now, and up on that horse again. You know you will soon forget all this. But then you just put that lid on, and that feeling will not be allowed it’s space.

Sometimes it can also happen that you are too long in that dark hole with your friend. That you just fall into total hopelessness and despair, even getting totally knocked out. Maybe you don’t accept and really getting yourself the comfort you need? We can be sad and angry, but if we at the same time feel that it’s wrong to have these feelings, they won’t go away. It’s really about owning these feelings, and comfort yourself as you would to a child.

When you have tried it just once, and being abel to stay with your feelings, and drag it up in the light with you, you don’t have to stay so long each time. Imagine there is a trampoline down there, and you just can jump up and down, in a balanced movement between the light and the dark. Because we are both. We can’t just be happy and light all the time.

I think thats why we are so afraid to get down there, because we never really learned how to get up. To get up renewed and full of new energy and wholeness. Just because you allowed yourself to feel, to let yourself be you. To accept all of yourself. It’s a very small act, but it’s not easy. Instinctively we tend to escape from all that hurts. All it really takes is to sit quiet for a moment with yourself.

Marie J.Engelsvold. My process: Working with Molotow acrylic markers and paper cuts.

2) How it will help you to stay present in the creative process.

To be abel to stay present with all these feelings, it helps to release them through your creations. It helps to put them out on that paper, or any other medium you prefer. I just use the drawing as an example of an easy way to create without having to think too much about space and time and other practical things. The most important thing is to get started, to release the energy because it will help you to drag yourself out of that hole. And when you start it will develop in it’s own pace. You will by following your own guidance end up doing what will be the most beneficial way to express your uniqueness.

You can’t follow a must, a mental plan or an idea.

Marie J.Engelsvold. My process: Working with Molotow acrylic markers and paper cuts.

You can’t do it because you think you have to, you have to do it because you want to do it. But sometimes you can’t feel what you want, because you are so used to do what you have to do. Or what you think you have to do. When do you really ask yourself what you truly want from your heart?? If there was no limits?? Let your heart fly. Don’t plan it, do it and let it grow. Do just something a little thing you want to do. Then you will feel the energy, you will fell happier and it will grow in you. And it will grow out of you.

The more I dare to be in that space with my art, the more free I become. Drop the rules. Drop the limitations. It is all mental, it’s not you.

Every time you can drag yourself out of that hole, you will get more fearless. You will not be so afraid of the darkness in you, because you trust yourself to come up again every time. And not just up again being the same. No, you bring up new energy, from all the things you have accepted in yourself, and all the things you have let go of. The false notions, and limitations you have put onto yourself.

So don’t be afraid of going to your heart to feel all the hurt, the sorrow the anger and the abandonment. You have to do it, to set yourself free. To be free to express yourself, in all your true colors.

Marie J.Engelsvold. “Coming out” 29,7 x 42 cm. 2019

Here is a little tip.

Take a paper, and some drawing materials, paint what ever you want.

Then just start. Don’t have any agenda. Not thinking of a result. Just

try to empty yourself out on that paper.

Fell whatever is coming up. Allow whatever is coming out.

Don’t judge if it’s good or bad, ugly or beautiful.

Just let it be raw and what it is.

Create from a non judgment place, a no critic place.

Go with your nudges.



Hope this helped you. I wish you a very nice day, a day where you allow yourself to be present with all your feelings, and say it’s okay.

I’am teaching in “how you can free yourself in the creative process”, go to workshops, to read about my courses and workshops. Next ones is in Mai 2019.

I’am sharing this information to you freely, from my own experiences. Hope you can use it in your own process. Any donation, is deeply appreciated. :-))

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